Dear Editor:
I have been watching with interest on television and reading in the media about the Tea Party movement.
I am told that they are a group of patriotic Americans who espouse fiscal responsibility and want to take back their country (from whom, I don't quite understand).
As a group that stands on such lofty principles, I propose the following basic foundations for the Tea Party, which from what I am led to believe they ascribe to as their guiding fundamental philosophy.
With the recent passage of health care legislation, I (as a Republican or Tea Partier) will not do the following:
1) I will not partake in the Socialist health care system that is Obama-Care.
2) I will not be employed by a place that makes me pay a Socialist Social Security Tax. I will become an independent contractor, or live in the woods and support myself.
3) I will not join the Socialist Armed forces, which are funded by tax dollars in a Socialist-like manner.
4) (If I am over 65 years of age) I will not cash another Socialist Social Security check. I will live off of petty hand outs from churches and other religious organizations. I will also not use Socialist Medicare or Medicaid. I would much rather pay premiums that go up by 40% each year.
5) I will not run for public office, since I would be enticed to take advantage of a Socialist health care plan and a Socialist Retirement Program.
6) I will not drive on paved roads, which are funded in a Socialistic manner. Instead, I will drive my automobile off-road to get everywhere or just ride a horse. I will no longer purchase gasoline for my automobile, since a portion of the cost goes to the federal government to build and maintain the roads that I will not be driving on.
7) If I am the victim of a crime or circumstance, I will not call upon the Socialist Police Department or the Socialist Fire Department to help me. I would rather get robbed or watch my house burn to the ground than utilize a Socialist, Government-funded institution.
8) I will not send my children to Socialist public schools. I will either home school them or send them to a private school. Nor, will I seek vouchers from the government to send my child to a private or religious institution.
9) I will not let myself or anyone in my household use the Socialist Public Libraries. Since I will not be sending them to school to read Socialistic textbooks, they can get their history and news information from Fox News shows like Bill O'Reilly and Glen Beck.
10) If I go to college, I will not accept Socialist Government grants. I would rather pay my way through school virtually unassisted.
11) I will not mail letters from the Socialist United States Postal Service. Instead, I will enlist the help of the Pony Express or homing pigeons.
12) I will not answer the Socialistic, Government funded Census. I would rather have a minimal number of teachers, buses and traffic lights. In signing this, I won't be sending my kids to the Socialist schools and I'm riding a horse for the rest of my life instead of driving on the roads constructed by Socialist government funding. So why should I care about these things?
We will abide by these rules to ensure that Socialistic concepts and programs do not affect our lives.
I am sure that since this movement is not made of mostly angry white male sore losers who feel threatened by having a black president that they will wholeheartedly sign on to the above pledge, this is about principles with them, after all.
Very truly yours,
David M. Quintana
